Children moaned with disappointment when Aunt Arlene left the community swimming pool because the water level dropped.  She wrapped a bath sheet around her ample waist and pulled a large tee shirt over her bathing suit.  She shook out her wet hair which clung to her head in matted strands and stepped into her flip flops.

She purchased a cherry sno-cone at the refreshment stand and happily schlepped home eating the icy treat.  There was a small hole in the bottom of the snow cone cup so drops of the red syrup dribbled down the front of her white shirt.  Her teeth and mouth were stained red giving her a ghoulish appearance.

She entered the living room where Uncle Earl dozed in his recliner chair.  He sleepily opened his eyes to see Aunt Arlene looking down at him.  She grinned and he screamed “Zombie!” and scrambled to his feet and bolted out the door.

(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.

picture www.free-graphics.com/free-clipart/

Originally published on Bubblews

 

Old Ms. Murphy suffered from dementia and often thought Uncle Earl was someone from her past named Mitch.  This evening she stood at Earl’s front door in a pink flowered nightgown with a pink plastic bath scrunchie in her hair.  Her eyes were filled with tears as she pleaded with Uncle Earl, “please take me to the dance, Mitch?”

Uncle Earl sighed and said, “okay darlin, give me a sec.”  He flipped on the yellow overhead light on the carport and turned up the radio in the house.

Aunt Arlene leaned on her elbows and watched out the kitchen window with a wistful smile.  Earl gently guided Ms. Murphy around the carport while Patsy Cline sang “Crazy”.  The moths fluttered around the light making a flickering effect on the concrete dance floor.

As they swayed, Ms. Murphy muttered incoherently while Earl replied with “uh huh” once in a while and repeated old jokes like, “cows dance to….mooosic….plumbers tap dance..”

Finally Ms. Murphy said, “I’m gettin kind of tired, Mitch.”   “Then, it’s time to walk ya home darlin,” Earl replied.  So he returned her to her caretaker who had just begun to search for her apologizing that she’d slipped out again.

“It’s fine,” Earl said, “we had a nice time didn’t we darlin.”  He gave the old lady a little peck on the cheek to which she responded with a giggle, “don’t you go gettin fresh, Mitch!”

As he walked away Earl said over his shoulder, “ya know, butchers dance at meatballs…hee hee.”

They heard a few days later that Ms. Murphy had passed away, Earl took off his toupee, held it over his heart, looked up and whispered, “I hope yer up there with Mitch enjoyin some Soul Music.”

 

(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.

picture www.free-graphics.com/free-clipart/

Originally published on Bubblews

Aunt Arlene and Uncle Earl were in the mattress store.  While Arlene dealt with the sales clerk, Earl explored.  He stretched out on an adjustable bed and began playing with the controls.  He made his head and his knees go up and down at the same time.  There was a strange grinding noise and the head and foot of the bed folded itself into a Z.  He scooted around to climb out, but he was stuck.

Having finished her purchase Arlene found Earl wrapped up like a hot dog on a bun.  His shiny head stuck out one side and his legs flailed out the other.  He looked at Arlene and chuckled feebly, “did you buy a Spring mattress, or one we could use year round?  Hee hee.”

Arlene shook her head, grabbed his legs, and popped him out like a cork from a bottle.  Earl said breathlessly, “ya know what’s got four legs and only one foot? …a bed.. ha ha.”

The store staff were working on the broken bed as Earl and Arlene were leaving.  They heard one exclaim, “yikes!  What in the world is that thing?”

Earl reached up and patted his bald head and said, “oh, I lost my toupee!”

As they got in the car to head to IHOP Earl said, “Guess what Sir Lancelot wore to bed….a knight gown, get it?  Hee hee.”

 

(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.

picture www.free-graphics.com/free-clipart/

Originally published on Bubblews