All posts by Frog

Mattress Malfunction

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Aunt Arlene and Uncle Earl were in the mattress store.  While Arlene dealt with the sales clerk, Earl explored.  He stretched out on an adjustable bed and began playing with the controls.  He made his head and his knees go up and down at the same time.  There was a strange grinding noise and the head and foot of the bed folded itself into a Z.  He scooted around to climb out, but he was stuck.

Having finished her purchase Arlene found Earl wrapped up like a hot dog on a bun.  His shiny head stuck out one side and his legs flailed out the other.  He looked at Arlene and chuckled feebly, “did you buy a Spring mattress, or one we could use year round?  Hee hee.”

Arlene shook her head, grabbed his legs, and popped him out like a cork from a bottle.  Earl said breathlessly, “ya know what’s got four legs and only one foot? …a bed.. ha ha.”

The store staff were working on the broken bed as Earl and Arlene were leaving.  They heard one exclaim, “yikes!  What in the world is that thing?”

Earl reached up and patted his bald head and said, “oh, I lost my toupee!”

As they got in the car to head to IHOP Earl said, “Guess what Sir Lancelot wore to bed….a knight gown, get it?  Hee hee.”

 

(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.

picture www.free-graphics.com/free-clipart/

Originally published on Bubblews

Carpe Demon

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Book Review

Carpe Demon by Julie Kenner

Kate Conner is a California stay at home mom who had to  juggle the needs of a teenage daughter, a toddler and her attorney husband with local political aspirations.  She was also a retired demon hunter, but now she has been forced out of retirement by a demon infestation in her town.  She maintains her secret occupation with the help of her neighbor and best friend.

The story is fast paced exciting and very witty.  She manages to kill a demon in the kitchen, hide the carcass in the pantry and still get dinner on the table.  And that’s just the beginning.

It is the first in a series but stands alone as a novel.

It is probably available through many booksellers but I  got it through:

http://www.amazon.com/Carpe-Demon-Adventures-Demon-Hunting-Soccer-ebook/dp/B00AM5VBEC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1401132319&sr=1-1&keywords=carpe+demon

A Zombie in the Living Room

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Froggie

Children moaned with disappointment when Aunt Arlene left the community swimming pool because the water level dropped.  She wrapped a bath sheet around her ample waist and pulled a large tee shirt over her bathing suit.  She shook out her wet hair which clung to her head in matted strands and stepped into her flip flops.

She purchased a cherry sno-cone at the refreshment stand and happily schlepped home eating the icy treat.  There was a small hole in the bottom of the snow cone cup so drops of the red syrup dribbled down the front of her white shirt.  Her teeth and mouth were stained red giving her a ghoulish appearance.

She entered the living room where Uncle Earl dozed in his recliner chair.  He sleepily opened his eyes to see Aunt Arlene looking down at him.  She grinned and he screamed “Zombie!” and scrambled to his feet and bolted out the door.

(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.

picture www.free-graphics.com/free-clipart/

Originally published on bubblews