Mattress Malfunction


Aunt Arlene and Uncle Earl were in the mattress store.  While Arlene dealt with the sales clerk, Earl explored.  He stretched out on an adjustable bed and began playing with the controls.  He made his head and his knees go up and down at the same time.  There was a strange grinding noise and the head and foot of the bed folded itself into a Z.  He scooted around to climb out, but he was stuck.

Having finished her purchase Arlene found Earl wrapped up like a hot dog on a bun.  His shiny head stuck out one side and his legs flailed out the other.  He looked at Arlene and chuckled feebly, “did you buy a Spring mattress, or one we could use year round?  Hee hee.”

Arlene shook her head, grabbed his legs, and popped him out like a cork from a bottle.  Earl said breathlessly, “ya know what’s got four legs and only one foot? …a bed.. ha ha.”

The store staff were working on the broken bed as Earl and Arlene were leaving.  They heard one exclaim, “yikes!  What in the world is that thing?”

Earl reached up and patted his bald head and said, “oh, I lost my toupee!”

As they got in the car to head to IHOP Earl said, “Guess what Sir Lancelot wore to bed….a knight gown, get it?  Hee hee.”


(this is a frogkisser tale) Thank you for reading.


Originally published on Bubblews

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